2022/09/25

不用安裝 anaconda, 單獨安裝 Jupyter Notebook 與設定 Jupyter Notebook 啟始路徑的方法

分享不用安裝 anaconda, 個別安裝 Jupyter Notebook 的方法

1. 到 Python 官網下載 Python安裝程式, 安裝時也要把 Python 路徑加入環境變數

2. 打開命令提示環境 (cmd.exe)

3. 執行 python -m pip install notebook  

   就可以安裝 jupyter notebook

4. 安裝完後 命令模式下執行 jupyter notebook 就可以了


另外分享如何設定 jupyter notebook 開啟時的預設目錄

1. 執行 jupyter notebook --generate-config

會產生設定檔 jupyter_notebook_config.py 

2. 修改設定檔, 找 # c.NotebookApp.notebook_dir = ''

comment 拿掉, 把路徑設定進去

如改成

c.NotebookApp.notebook_dir = r'c:\python\work'


儲存後重新執行 jupyter notebook

這樣 Jupyter notebook 開啟預設目錄就會切換到 c:\python\work 下了

2022/04/23

A Small, Good Thing (1983) by Raymond Carver




(2022.4.23 讀完)

會知道這個故事是前陣子在 MyDearTeacher 尋找課程的時候看到一位名叫 Thomas 的老師開了一堂短篇故事課,然後他附上了這篇故事的連結  http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/sgthing.html

不過因為時間跟日文課衝堂就沒有報,後來課也沒開成。MyDearTeacher這一類比較文學類的課程似乎很難開成,之前有去上過兩堂時事討論課,the economist, global politics,覺得就是去唬爛的,就沒有想上了,但文學文化課又很難成,就沒再去了。這是題外話。

花了幾天想到時就讀一下把它看完,整篇將近一萬字,不是網頁說的五千字。趁著剛讀完記憶猶新寫一下,免得忘記。

==============

一名母親 Ann 週六下午去蛋糕店為兒子 Scotty 訂了一個巧克力生日蛋糕,Scotty 週一就要滿八歲了,但是週一一早 Scotty 上學途中與同學遊玩時卻被車撞了,Scotty被撞倒後還是有站起來,也沒有哭,同學問他還好吧他也沒說,於是同學就去學校,Scotty就走回家,回到家後跟 Ann 說被車撞了後沒多久就昏倒了。

Ann 很慌地趕緊打給老公 Howard,Howard 叫了救護車,他也匆匆離開辦公室趕往醫院。

醫生 Francis 初步診斷說只是沉睡,不算昏迷,但 Scotty 一直沒有醒。兩夫婦在醫院守著 Scotty 一整天,晚上 11點 Howard 先回家一趟,接到一通電話說有個 16塊(美元)的蛋糕,但 Howard 搞不清楚,就掛了電話。後來又接到一通無聲電話。

回到醫院,週二一整天,只見護理人員跑來跑去,但 Scotty 就是沒有醒。醫生說要會診,照更多的 X光,做檢查,也說可能是昏迷。

夫妻倆守著 Scotty,無能為力。

晚上 Howard 要 Ann 先回去沖洗休息一下再來,也餵餵狗 Slug,她在找電梯時走進了一間等候室,遇到一個黑人家庭,一走進去所有人都跑過來問 Franklin 怎麼樣了,他們把她當作護士了,Ann 說自己的兒子被車撞了現在躺在醫院,黑人家庭的男主人說他的兒子 Franklin 無緣無故被砍了現在在手術。兩邊同樣都是焦急等待的心情。

Ann 回到家,梳洗餵狗休息,五點左右接到一通電話,「是有關 Scotty 的事?妳忘了嗎?」,然後就掛斷了。

Ann 以為是醫院打來的,立刻打到醫院找 Howard,Howard 說沒事,Scotty 還是一樣。

Ann 在週三清晨七點左右回到醫院,等候室裡的黑人一家人已經離開了,Ann 在護理站問了護士,昨晚有個叫做 Franklin 的黑人男孩手術的狀況,護士回說手術失敗走了。

回到病房,Howard 說 Francis 醫生剛有來,還有另一名神經科的醫生一起來,可能要動手術。這時候 Scotty 突然眼睛張開,看著他們,卻好像認不出他們似的,兩人跑到旁邊, Howard 緊緊抓著 Scotty 的手, Ann 親著 Scotty 的額頭,之後 Scotty 嚎叫著,叫著叫著就走了。

醫生希望能夠解剖找死因。

Ann 與 Howard 回到家,又再度接到無聲電話,他們以為是開車撞死 Scotty 的人,很生氣。最後 Ann 才想到可能是麵包師傅。

Ann 很生氣的說要殺了他。

他們兩人晚上開車到蛋糕店,到後門敲門麵包師傅才開門,一見面 Ann 就很生氣地說我要殺了你,麵包師傅被她的氣場嚇到,問她要把蛋糕拿回去嗎?但是放太久應該已經不能吃了,他可以退她錢。她說她兒子死了,吃不到了,他這樣一直騷擾很過份之類的。

麵包師傅知道後感到很抱歉,邀他們倆個坐下,請他們倆個吃肉桂捲,咖啡,Ann 跟 Howard 也好幾天沒好好吃東西,也好好地享用了麵包師傅的食物。

他說他只是一個人,很孤獨,不知道他們這種狀況,只能想像失去親人的痛苦,他自己幫人家做了無數個蛋糕,但都是別人的節日。他很抱歉他們遇到這種狀況,三個人就這樣徹夜在麵包店裡聊天,聊著孤寂,聊著失去的親人,到天亮都不想離開。


=====================

這篇文章的用字平實,沒有什麼艱深的文字句子,但傳達的感情卻很真實,場景的描述也很寫實。可以感受到父母在醫院裡的無奈,面對醫生,想問又問不到,醫生剛開始只說很正常,但小孩一直不醒他們也只能乾著急。在醫院裡,遇到黑人一家,同在醫院,同病相憐。在麵包店裡,最後與孤獨的麵包師傅徹夜長談,也要面對失去兒子的孤獨吧。

Google 找了作者 Raymond Carver 的資料,50歲就過世了,很可惜,曾經有酗酒的紀錄,但後來有戒掉。他另一篇文章 Where I'm calling from 有被 John Updike 收錄到 The Best American Short Stories of the Century 裡頭。有空再拜讀了。


 Raymond Carver  wiki

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raymond_Carver



2022/04/15

The Necklace 項鍊



(2022.4.9)

 The Necklace 項鍊 (1884, Guy de Maupassant 莫泊桑)

***

[女主角名字叫 Mathilde Loisel (瑪蒂爾德。羅塞爾)。她的丈夫沒有名字,就只是 Monsieur Loisel (羅塞爾先生)。女主角的有錢朋友叫 Jeanne Forestier ( Madame Forestier 芙葉琪女士)]

***

她長相甜美,頗有姿色,卻投錯胎,落入平凡的家庭中,沒有錢,沒有嫁妝,沒有知名度,無法攀上枝頭變鳳凰,只能嫁給教育部的一個小官員。

因為買不起額外的珠寶跟首飾,她的打扮都很樸素。她心有不甘,一直抱怨,覺得自己像是被命運捉弄一般,明明擁有人人讚嘆的美貌,卻只能過著這麼平淡的生活,家裡也沒有甚麼貴重的奢侈品,她覺得自己比那些高貴的女人更值得擁有更好的生活,更能襯托的起那些珠寶和豪宅,一直奢望著自己能過著貴婦般的生活。為此,她一直悶悶不樂。
***
一天,丈夫興奮地捧著一個大信封回家,要她拆開看,裡頭是張邀請函,是教育部長邀請她夫婦倆參加晚宴舞會的邀請函。但是瑪蒂爾德看了後卻把邀請函給撕了!
「你要我怎麼辦?」
「親愛的,我以為妳會很開心,妳都不出門,難得有機會可以出門。而且很多人都想參加,我好不容易才要到一個名額,舞會中有機會可以遇到很多高官貴人呀!」
她面露不耐地看著他,「你要我穿什麼去參加?」
「妳平常穿著去劇院那套不行嗎?那套看起來很漂亮呀!」
瑪蒂爾德開始哭了起來,臉上掛著兩行淚,丈夫很緊張,急問:「怎麼了?怎麼了?」
「我沒辦法好好打扮,沒有好看的衣服可以去參加舞會,你還是把名額讓給其他可以讓他們老婆打扮地很漂亮的同事吧。」
「不然,妳說,要買套可以穿去參加舞會的衣服大概要多少錢?」
她想了想,不能講個高到老公付不起的價格,又要穿出去體面的衣服。遲疑了一下,她小心翼翼地說:「大概四百法朗吧。」
丈夫聽到後深深地吸了一口氣,本來他有存一筆錢打算明年買槍跟朋友去打獵的,不過,他說:「好吧,我就給妳四百法郎,妳去買套好看的衣服吧。」
舞會的日子越來越接近,但瑪蒂爾德看起來還是很煩惱,丈夫問她:「親愛的,又怎麼了?」
「我沒有珠寶可以戴在身上,一顆也沒有,我還是不要去好了。」
「妳可以配戴幾朵玫瑰呀。」
「這樣只會讓我在那群貴婦中看起來更窮酸而已。」
「啊!妳不是有個有錢的朋友芙葉琪女士嗎?妳跟她感情好,應該可以跟她借一下吧。」
「對耶!我怎麼沒想到!」
隔天,瑪蒂爾德馬上去找芙葉琪女士,她朋友也很大方地讓她盡情挑選,最後她看上了一條看起來價值不斐的鑽石項鍊。芙葉琪女士二話不說地就借給她了。
***
舞會當天,瑪蒂爾德閃亮當場,果真成為全場最耀眼的一顆星,吸引了所有人的目光,讓其他貴婦相形失色,男士們打探著她,紛紛來邀舞。整晚,她不斷地舞著,享受著所有人的讚嘆和追求,宛如在雲端,她的人生在這一刻達到了高點。
一直到清晨四點,她才離開會場,在接待室找到已經睡到不醒人事的老公。老公準備了一條很普通的披肩,她想著,要是披上去被其他披著昂貴皮毛披肩的貴婦看到還得了,就快步走了出去,老公在後面直喊著:「這樣妳會著涼呀!等我叫車啊!」
出了大街,見不到馬車,隨手攔也攔不到,他們只好順著塞納河畔走,又累又冷,好不容易到了一個碼頭後才找到一輛老舊的馬車願意載他們回去。
到家後,累癱了,拿下披肩,對著鏡子,瑪蒂爾德想再欣賞一次萬眾矚目風華絕代的自己。
「啊
她失聲大叫,老公跑了過來:「怎麼了!?」
「項鍊不見了!」
「怎麼會這樣呢?」
於是他們又仔細再找一次,還是沒找到。
「妳確定妳離開舞會時還在身上?」
「對,我很確定在前廳時都還在。」
「如果是掉在街上我們應該會聽到聲音才是呀,會不會是掉在車上了?妳有記下車號嗎?」
「沒有。」
兩人不知所措地對望著。
羅塞爾先生只好再度披上大衣,沿著剛剛回來的路仔細再找一次。大約七點,他回來了,還是一無所獲。白天他又去了警局,報社,車行所有想的到的地方,一整天下來還是毫無消息。
他要瑪蒂爾德趕快寫封信給芙葉琪女士說項鍊扣環壞了,需要修理,要一個禮拜後才能還她。
***
不過,一個禮拜後,他們還是沒找回項鍊。
羅塞爾先生決定要到珠寶店找條一樣的來替換。
他們找遍了巴黎的珠寶店,最後在巴黎皇家宮殿(Palais Royal)的一家珠寶店找到一條看起來可以說是完全一樣的鑽石項鍊,牌價四萬法郎,店家願意以三萬六千法郎的價格賣給他們。
羅塞爾先生拿出了父親留給他的一萬八千法郎的遺產,然後再到處跟親朋好友借錢,這邊借一千,那邊借一百,最後終於湊齊三萬六千法郎,買下那條鑽石項鍊。他知道,他這一生已經沒什麼未來了。
瑪蒂爾德歸還項鍊的時候,芙葉琪女士還冷冷地說:「妳應該早一點還來的,我也許會用到。」
瑪蒂爾德很怕芙葉琪女士打開盒子來看,幸好她沒有,萬一發現被掉包了,不知道她會怎麼想呢
***
面對龐大的債務,瑪蒂爾德徹底地改變了,勇敢地與丈夫一起面對。
他們遣散了僕人,搬了家,租了一個小閣樓。
瑪蒂爾德四處打工,再怎麼髒汙,再怎麼辛苦的的工作她都願意做,洗碗盤,洗衣工,倒廚餘,扛水。她扛著藍子上市場,買肉,買水果,買雜貨,跟老闆們討價還價爭地面紅耳赤。一分一分錢地賺,一分一分錢地省。
羅塞爾先生也每天加班貼補家用。
這樣的日子持續了十年,終於,他們把積欠的債務全部還清了。
瑪蒂爾德看起來就像個老婦人,穿著一般貧困人家穿的衣服,頭髮雜亂,整個身形變的粗壯,手臂也變紅了,大聲地串門子聊天聊八卦。偶爾她坐在鏡子前,看著走樣的身材和不再姣好的臉孔,想著十年前的那個夜晚,那個舞會,那個眾人仰慕的美麗的自己。
如果,沒有弄丟那條項鍊,會怎麼樣呢?誰知道?人生真是充滿了驚奇跟各種起起落落呀!只要一件小小的事,就可以摧毀我們或拯救我們。
***
有一天在路上,瑪蒂爾德突然見到芙葉琪女士,帶著一個小孩,依然優雅地走在路上,看起來仍然年輕美麗迷人。
她想著要不要上去跟她打個招呼,想了想,反正債務都已經清掉了,跟她說明整個經過也沒關係吧。
「嗨!Jeanne!」
「請問,妳是?妳是不是認錯人了?」
「沒有認錯人,我是瑪蒂爾徳啦。」
「瑪蒂爾德!妳變好多呀!」
「是呀,自從上次見到妳後,這些年經歷了很多困難跟麻煩。而且,都是因為妳。」
「因為我?怎麼說?」
「妳還記得十年前我跟妳借的那條鑽石項鍊嗎?我借去參加部長的舞會的那條?」
「記得呀,怎麼了?」
「我把它弄丟了。」
「弄丟了?可是妳不是還給我了嗎?」
「我還給妳的是另一條看起來很像的鑽石項鍊,這十年來,我跟先生一直都在還那條鑽石項鍊的錢。妳知道,這對我們家並不容易,不過,很開心,總算還完了。」
「妳是說,妳買了另一條鑽石項鍊來取代原本那條還我?」
「對呀!看來妳都沒發現呀。看起來真的很像呀!」瑪蒂爾德有些自豪地笑著說。
芙葉琪女士很感動,緊緊地握住瑪蒂爾德那雙粗糙的雙手,有點哽咽地說:「喔,我可憐的瑪蒂爾德,可是我借給妳的那條是假的,最多只有值500法郎而已!」

****

Guy de Maupassant
The Necklace

She was one of those pretty and charming girls born, as if by an error of fate, into a family of clerks. She had no dowry, no expectations, no means of becoming known, understood, loved or wedded by a man of wealth and distinction; and so she let herself be married to a minor official at the Ministry of Education.

     She dressed plainly because she had never been able to afford anything better, but she was as unhappy as if she had once been wealthy. Women don't belong to a caste or class; their beauty, grace, and natural charm take the place of birth and family. Natural delicacy, instinctive elegance and a quick wit determine their place in society, and make the daughters of commoners the equals of the very finest ladies.

     She suffered endlessly, feeling she was entitled to all the delicacies and luxuries of life. She suffered because of the poorness of her house as she looked at the dirty walls, the worn-out chairs and the ugly curtains. All these things that another woman of her class would not even have noticed, tormented her and made her resentful. The sight of the little Brenton girl who did her housework filled her with terrible regrets and hopeless fantasies. She dreamed of silent antechambers hung with Oriental tapestries, lit from above by torches in bronze holders, while two tall footmen in knee-length breeches napped in huge armchairs, sleepy from the stove's oppressive warmth. She dreamed of vast living rooms furnished in rare old silks, elegant furniture loaded with priceless ornaments, and inviting smaller rooms, perfumed, made for afternoon chats with close friends - famous, sought after men, who all women envy and desire.

     When she sat down to dinner at a round table covered with a three-day-old cloth opposite her husband who, lifting the lid off the soup, shouted excitedly, "Ah! Beef stew! What could be better," she dreamed of fine dinners, of shining silverware, of tapestries which peopled the walls with figures from another time and strange birds in fairy forests; she dreamed of delicious dishes served on wonderful plates, of whispered gallantries listened to with an inscrutable smile as one ate the pink flesh of a trout or the wings of a quail.

     She had no dresses, no jewels, nothing; and these were the only things she loved. She felt she was made for them alone. She wanted so much to charm, to be envied, to be desired and sought after.

     She had a rich friend, a former schoolmate at the convent, whom she no longer wanted to visit because she suffered so much when she came home. For whole days afterwards she would weep with sorrow, regret, despair and misery.

*

One evening her husband came home with an air of triumph, holding a large envelope in his hand.

     "Look," he said, "here's something for you."

     She tore open the paper and drew out a card, on which was printed the words:

     "The Minister of Education and Mme. Georges Rampouneau request the pleasure of M. and Mme. Loisel's company at the Ministry, on the evening of Monday January 18th."

     Instead of being delighted, as her husband had hoped, she threw the invitation on the table resentfully, and muttered:

     "What do you want me to do with that?"

     "But, my dear, I thought you would be pleased. You never go out, and it will be such a lovely occasion! I had awful trouble getting it. Every one wants to go; it is very exclusive, and they're not giving many invitations to clerks. The whole ministry will be there."

     She stared at him angrily, and said, impatiently:

     "And what do you expect me to wear if I go?"

     He hadn't thought of that. He stammered:

     "Why, the dress you go to the theatre in. It seems very nice to me ..."

     He stopped, stunned, distressed to see his wife crying. Two large tears ran slowly from the corners of her eyes towards the corners of her mouth. He stuttered:

     "What's the matter? What's the matter?"

     With great effort she overcame her grief and replied in a calm voice, as she wiped her wet cheeks:

     "Nothing. Only I have no dress and so I can't go to this party. Give your invitation to a friend whose wife has better clothes than I do."

     He was distraught, but tried again:

     "Let's see, Mathilde. How much would a suitable dress cost, one which you could use again on other occasions, something very simple?"

     She thought for a moment, computing the cost, and also wondering what amount she could ask for without an immediate refusal and an alarmed exclamation from the thrifty clerk.

     At last she answered hesitantly:

     "I don't know exactly, but I think I could do it with four hundred francs."

     He turned a little pale, because he had been saving that exact amount to buy a gun and treat himself to a hunting trip the following summer, in the country near Nanterre, with a few friends who went lark-shooting there on Sundays.

     However, he said:

     "Very well, I can give you four hundred francs. But try and get a really beautiful dress."

*

The day of the party drew near, and Madame Loisel seemed sad, restless, anxious. Her dress was ready, however. One evening her husband said to her:

     "What's the matter? You've been acting strange these last three days."

     She replied: "I'm upset that I have no jewels, not a single stone to wear. I will look cheap. I would almost rather not go to the party."

     "You could wear flowers, " he said, "They are very fashionable at this time of year. For ten francs you could get two or three magnificent roses."

     She was not convinced.

     "No; there is nothing more humiliating than looking poor in the middle of a lot of rich women."

     "How stupid you are!" her husband cried. "Go and see your friend Madame Forestier and ask her to lend you some jewels. You know her well enough for that."

     She uttered a cry of joy.

     "Of course. I had not thought of that."

     The next day she went to her friend's house and told her of her distress.

     Madame Forestier went to her mirrored wardrobe, took out a large box, brought it back, opened it, and said to Madame Loisel:

     "Choose, my dear."

     First she saw some bracelets, then a pearl necklace, then a gold Venetian cross set with precious stones, of exquisite craftsmanship. She tried on the jewelry in the mirror, hesitated, could not bear to part with them, to give them back. She kept asking:

     "You have nothing else?"

     "Why, yes. But I don't know what you like."

     Suddenly she discovered, in a black satin box, a superb diamond necklace, and her heart began to beat with uncontrolled desire. Her hands trembled as she took it. She fastened it around her neck, over her high-necked dress, and stood lost in ecstasy as she looked at herself.

     Then she asked anxiously, hesitating:

     "Would you lend me this, just this?"

     "Why, yes, of course."

     She threw her arms around her friend's neck, embraced her rapturously, then fled with her treasure.

 

*

The day of the party arrived. Madame Loisel was a success. She was prettier than all the other women, elegant, gracious, smiling, and full of joy. All the men stared at her, asked her name, tried to be introduced. All the cabinet officials wanted to waltz with her. The minister noticed her.

     She danced wildly, with passion, drunk on pleasure, forgetting everything in the triumph of her beauty, in the glory of her success, in a sort of cloud of happiness, made up of all this respect, all this admiration, all these awakened desires, of that sense of triumph that is so sweet to a woman's heart.

     She left at about four o'clock in the morning. Her husband had been dozing since midnight in a little deserted anteroom with three other gentlemen whose wives were having a good time.

     He threw over her shoulders the clothes he had brought for her to go outside in, the modest clothes of an ordinary life, whose poverty contrasted sharply with the elegance of the ball dress. She felt this and wanted to run away, so she wouldn't be noticed by the other women who were wrapping themselves in expensive furs.

     Loisel held her back.

     "Wait a moment, you'll catch a cold outside. I'll go and find a cab."

     But she would not listen to him, and ran down the stairs. When they were finally in the street, they could not find a cab, and began to look for one, shouting at the cabmen they saw passing in the distance.

     They walked down toward the Seine in despair, shivering with cold. At last they found on the quay one of those old night cabs that one sees in Paris only after dark, as if they were ashamed to show their shabbiness during the day.

     They were dropped off at their door in the Rue des Martyrs, and sadly walked up the steps to their apartment. It was all over, for her. And he was remembering that he had to be back at his office at ten o'clock.

     In front of the mirror, she took off the clothes around her shoulders, taking a final look at herself in all her glory. But suddenly she uttered a cry. She no longer had the necklace round her neck!

     "What is the matter?" asked her husband, already half undressed.

     She turned towards him, panic-stricken.

     "I have ... I have ... I no longer have Madame Forestier's necklace."

     He stood up, distraught.

     "What! ... how! ... That's impossible!"

     They looked in the folds of her dress, in the folds of her cloak, in her pockets, everywhere. But they could not find it.

     "Are you sure you still had it on when you left the ball?" he asked.

     "Yes. I touched it in the hall at the Ministry."

     "But if you had lost it in the street we would have heard it fall. It must be in the cab."

     "Yes. That's probably it. Did you take his number?"

     "No. And you, didn't you notice it?"

     "No."

     They stared at each other, stunned. At last Loisel put his clothes on again.

     "I'm going back," he said, "over the whole route we walked, see if I can find it."

     He left. She remained in her ball dress all evening, without the strength to go to bed, sitting on a chair, with no fire, her mind blank.

     Her husband returned at about seven o'clock. He had found nothing.

     He went to the police, to the newspapers to offer a reward, to the cab companies, everywhere the tiniest glimmer of hope led him.

     She waited all day, in the same state of blank despair from before this frightful disaster.

     Loisel returned in the evening, a hollow, pale figure; he had found nothing.

     "You must write to your friend," he said, "tell her you have broken the clasp of her necklace and that you are having it mended. It will give us time to look some more."

     She wrote as he dictated.

*

At the end of one week they had lost all hope.

     And Loisel, who had aged five years, declared:

     "We must consider how to replace the jewel."

     The next day they took the box which had held it, and went to the jeweler whose name they found inside. He consulted his books.

     "It was not I, madame, who sold the necklace; I must simply have supplied the case."

     And so they went from jeweler to jeweler, looking for an necklace like the other one, consulting their memories, both sick with grief and anguish.

     In a shop at the Palais Royal, they found a string of diamonds which seemed to be exactly what they were looking for. It was worth forty thousand francs. They could have it for thirty-six thousand.

     So they begged the jeweler not to sell it for three days. And they made an arrangement that he would take it back for thirty-four thousand francs if the other necklace was found before the end of February.

     Loisel had eighteen thousand francs which his father had left him. He would borrow the rest.

     And he did borrow, asking for a thousand francs from one man, five hundred from another, five louis here, three louis there. He gave notes, made ruinous agreements, dealt with usurers, with every type of money-lender. He compromised the rest of his life, risked signing notes without knowing if he could ever honor them, and, terrified by the anguish still to come, by the black misery about to fall on him, by the prospect of every physical privation and every moral torture he was about to suffer, he went to get the new necklace, and laid down on the jeweler's counter thirty-six thousand francs.

     When Madame Loisel took the necklace back, Madame Forestier said coldly:

     "You should have returned it sooner, I might have needed it."

     To the relief of her friend, she did not open the case. If she had detected the substitution, what would she have thought? What would she have said? Would she have taken her friend for a thief?

*

From then on, Madame Loisel knew the horrible life of the very poor. But she played her part heroically. The dreadful debt must be paid. She would pay it. They dismissed their maid; they changed their lodgings; they rented a garret under the roof.

     She came to know the drudgery of housework, the odious labors of the kitchen. She washed the dishes, staining her rosy nails on greasy pots and the bottoms of pans. She washed the dirty linen, the shirts and the dishcloths, which she hung to dry on a line; she carried the garbage down to the street every morning, and carried up the water, stopping at each landing to catch her breath. And, dressed like a commoner, she went to the fruiterer's, the grocer's, the butcher's, her basket on her arm, bargaining, insulted, fighting over every miserable sou.

     Each month they had to pay some notes, renew others, get more time.

     Her husband worked every evening, doing accounts for a tradesman, and often, late into the night, he sat copying a manuscript at five sous a page.

     And this life lasted ten years.

     At the end of ten years they had paid off everything, everything, at usurer's rates and with the accumulations of compound interest.

     Madame Loisel looked old now. She had become strong, hard and rough like all women of impoverished households. With hair half combed, with skirts awry, and reddened hands, she talked loudly as she washed the floor with great swishes of water. But sometimes, when her husband was at the office, she sat down near the window and thought of that evening at the ball so long ago, when she had been so beautiful and so admired.

     What would have happened if she had not lost that necklace? Who knows, who knows? How strange life is, how fickle! How little is needed for one to be ruined or saved!

*

One Sunday, as she was walking in the Champs Élysées to refresh herself after the week's work, suddenly she saw a woman walking with a child. It was Madame Forestier, still young, still beautiful, still charming.

     Madame Loisel felt emotional. Should she speak to her? Yes, of course. And now that she had paid, she would tell her all. Why not?

     She went up to her.

     "Good morning, Jeanne."

     The other, astonished to be addressed so familiarly by this common woman, did not recognize her. She stammered:

     "But - madame - I don't know. You must have made a mistake."

     "No, I am Mathilde Loisel."

     Her friend uttered a cry.

     "Oh! ... my poor Mathilde, how you've changed! ..."

     "Yes, I have had some hard times since I last saw you, and many miseries ... and all because of you! ..."

     "Me? How can that be?"

     "You remember that diamond necklace that you lent me to wear to the Ministry party?"

     "Yes. Well?"

     "Well, I lost it."

     "What do you mean? You brought it back."

     "I brought you back another exactly like it. And it has taken us ten years to pay for it. It wasn't easy for us, we had very little. But at last it is over, and I am very glad."

     Madame Forestier was stunned.

     "You say that you bought a diamond necklace to replace mine?"

     "Yes; you didn't notice then? They were very similar."

     And she smiled with proud and innocent pleasure.

     Madame Forestier, deeply moved, took both her hands.

     "Oh, my poor Mathilde! Mine was an imitation! It was worth five hundred francs at most! ..."


2022/04/07

The Lady, or the Tiger? 是美女還是老虎?



(2022/04/06) 很有趣的一個小故事


The Lady, or the Tiger?    (1882, Frank R. Stockton )

 是美女還是老虎?


很久以前,有個有點野蠻的國王,常常會有一些大膽又有創意的想法,而且總能實現。

在這個國度裡,國王建造了一個競技場,這個競技場的目的主要是為了讓罪犯能夠受到公平的審判。

當王國中出現重大案件,國王會裁定一個日期讓罪犯在競技場中接受審判,在罪犯的眼前,有兩扇門讓他選擇。

一扇門一開啟,裡頭會有凶猛的老虎衝出來,立刻將罪犯咬死。
另一扇門,會有宮廷幫罪犯精挑細選的女子走出來,然後牧師,唱詩班馬上登場,在國王與全國人民的祝福下當眾結為夫妻,在花童的引領下無罪釋放回家,無論犯人已婚與否都無法拒絕。

國王認為這樣的審判很公平公正又公開,犯人最終的結果完全是由命運來裁定,又完全掌握在犯人手中,事先不會有任何人知道門裡會走出老虎或美女。而全國人民也喜歡這樣的審判方式。

國王有個女兒,才色出眾,王公貴族追求者絡繹不絕,但,她卻瘋狂愛上了一位帥氣英勇的平民男子,這段地下戀情持續了幾個月,還是讓國王發現了。國王一怒之下決定讓這男子接受競技場的審判。

宮廷受命後,找來全國最凶猛的老虎,也為他精心挑選了一名年輕貌美可以匹配他的女子。

公主知道後很擔心,用盡金錢與各種手段,終於打探到哪一扇門會走出老虎。哪一扇門會走出女子。不過她也打探到那名女子是誰,那是一位王廷中最漂亮的宮女,她曾經見過這宮女與男子眉來眼去,也曾經見過他們短暫交談,也許沒談什麼,但公主就是無法接受,她恨死這宮女了。

審判日到了,國王與公主坐在觀賞台上,男子走進競技場,場上的民眾見到他長得如此英俊挺拔也是驚呼不斷。男子向國王與公主行禮,場上所有的民眾都直盯著男子,而男子則是緊盯著公主,他知道,公主一定有辦法知道哪一扇門能夠救他。公主悄悄地用右手快速比了一下,「右邊」。

男子一知道後,馬上轉身去開啟右邊那一扇門,請問,從門後走出來的,會是猛虎還是美女呢?

想想,如果你是公主,最後做出的決定會是什麼?

要知道,雖然公主只是快速地比向右邊,對她而言卻是個許多輾轉難眠的夜晚內心煎熬後的結果。
男子如果被咬死了,未來要承受多少的夢魘回想男子在她眼前被猛虎撕裂的恐怖畫面。
如果男子就在她眼前當眾和那宮女成親,對她而言又是何等的失敗和恥辱。

從右邊那扇門走出來的,會是美女,還是猛虎呢?

2022/04/06

The Ledge; A good man is hard to find



(2022.04.03 讀的)

下雨在家讀小故事結果挑了兩篇讀,兩篇都死人。近來讀的三篇短篇故事,一個誘拐謀殺 (Where are you going, where have you been?),一個出海打獵三人一狗沒回來(The ledge),一個一家六口出遊走錯路遇到逃亡的殺人犯慘遭滅門(A good man is hard to find)。

到底....?
美國短篇故事都要死人才會流傳嗎? 有沒輕鬆一點的....
給不給人活呀....

"The Ledge" 是由 Lawrence Sargent Hall 1960年所寫的一篇短篇小說,敘述一名漁夫帶著兒子與姪子以及一條狗於耶誕節前一天清晨一大早去外海的一座要退潮時才會露出水面的礁岩上打獵的故事。礁岩露出時,會有很多野鴨在附近覓食。這名漁夫技術強,又熟水性與水域,打獵從沒失手過。但這天他帶著兒子與姪子出門,卻忘了把煙帶出來,導致他生氣怪他們。之後,他們打了幾輪準備要走的時候,發現船竟然飄走了。他們試著規律地輪流擊發彈藥看能不能吸引岸邊的人注意來救援,但沒等到,水位越來越高,也越來越冷,漁夫把兩個小孩駝在背上,但最後,還是無一生還。

讀的過程,查單字有點多,也許是跟漁夫跟船這些主題的字比較不熟吧還是是作者的用字對我而言就是比較艱深或自己能力不足。不過在 goodreads 看到也有美國人也要 google skiff 是什麼,也覺得這篇有些畫面難以具象化覺得有點鬆口氣。不過大概之前去龍洞玩過一陣子,大概還可以想像一些畫面。

這算是技術嫻熟的漁夫,帶了兩個小孩,也許太忙(或太自信)就忘了一些重要步驟而發生不幸的故事吧。


"A good man is hard to find" (1953,  Flannery O'Connor 整個就是一個老太婆(奶奶)跟兩個小屁孩很鬧所造成的悲劇。一開始知道要去佛州度假時,老奶奶一直反對然後跟家人說報紙上報導有殺人犯逃到佛州去不要去,但是隔天還是第一個衝上車。車上的成員就是老公 Bailey ,太太 ,三個小孩 John Wesley, June Star 跟個嬰兒,跟奶奶(還有偷帶一隻貓),共六人一貓。

他們從喬治亞州要去佛州,沿路奶奶就說她年輕的故事還有路上一些她有印象的事情。到了一個休息站,還要跟休息站的老闆跟老闆娘大嘆人心不古,好人難尋呀。(老人家都愛講以前多好多好,以前怎樣怎樣。)

碎念的奶奶想到年輕時曾經到一個植物園,引起了兩個小孩的注意,在車上大哭大鬧一定要去看,開車的 Bailey 不得已只好轉進一條泥土路,在羊腸小徑繞阿繞一直沒找到,老奶奶才想起記錯州了,又不敢承認,一緊張把貓籠踢翻貓跑出來跳到 Bailey 頭上然後就翻車了。所幸沒有人受重傷,兩個小屁孩還很興奮地大喊我們出車禍了,我們出車禍了!

不過不幸地是在這裡他們遇到了亡命天涯的殺人犯 Misfit 還有他的兩個伙伴,老奶奶為了活命一直說 Misfit 你是好人,但最後 Misfit 一夥還是把 Bailey 全家六人都殺了。

在老奶奶一直說 Misfit 是好人的過程中,也有講到上帝,信仰,禱告之類的,試著要轉化 Misfit 的惡,讓他轉向上帝,讓他改變心意,她最後甚至還伸出手觸碰 Misfit (像上帝要拯救他那樣),結果 Misfit 嚇到往後跳三槍把她殺了。

好人真的很難找,羊腸小徑繞來繞去碰到壞人還要一直說他是好人。


Flannery O’Connor Reads ‘A Good Man is Hard to Find’ in Rare 1959 Audio





O'Connor frequently used bird imagery within her fiction.

When she was six, O'Connor experienced her first brush with celebrity status. Pathé News filmed "Little Mary O'Connor" with her trained chicken[40] and showed the film around the country. She said: "When I was six I had a chicken that walked backward and was in the Pathé News. I was in it too with the chicken. I was just there to assist the chicken but it was the high point in my life. Everything since has been an anticlimax."[41]




Why should you read Flannery O’Connor? - Iseult Gillespie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QVsGWsk7TU




2022/04/03

Where are you going, Where have you been?



前幾天翻著一本買了很久但沒怎麼翻的美國短篇小說集  The Best American Short Stories of the Century, 厚厚的一本七百多頁,是由  所編選的。

翻著翻著,看到一個熟悉的標題,"Where are you going, Where have you been? "

是大學時期小說課曾經上過的一篇小說,這標題一直都記得,偶爾會在腦海中出現,但故事內容早就忘光了。於是決定重讀一次。

結果讀完一頭霧水,怎麼會從一開始的青春洋溢的叛逆少女片變成驚悚片呢?還是不知道是怎麼回事。而且標題旁的 To Bob Dylan 是什麼意思?跟歌有關?

似真似幻的 Arnold Friend 突然在她家人出門後冒出來跑來她家要誘拐她出門,整個就是超詭異的。

於是,只好請教 Google 了。

原來這是作者 Joyce Carol Oates 1966 年讀完 Life 雜誌上一篇有關於亞利桑那州一名專門殺害少女的連續殺人犯 Charles Schmid 的報導跟聽完 Bob Dylan 的歌 "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue後寫的故事,所以才會從青春少女片變成驚悚片。

然後,網路上找到有人把這故事拍成短片。後面真的可以感受到少女的無助跟驚恐。


至於作者 Joyce Carol Oates,還活著,80幾歲了,還每天發好幾則 Twitter 哩,而且無役不與,活力(火力)四射,佩服呀。

https://twitter.com/JoyceCarolOates


Where are you going, Where have you been

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where_Are_You_Going,_Where_Have_You_Been%3F